Participants in the posted portion of this story:
The party once again set off in search of Grand Adventure, in a Great Saga that would exceed all expectations.
Quiz was at the helm, running very fast to offset the fact that he needed to go, the rest following close behind. Through the tunnels they ran in a flash, when suddenly...
"Hey, there's a light up ahead!"
"It's the light at the end of the tunnel..." replied Gally.
"Head towards the light..." said a mysterious voice...
"What, we've got a choice?" replied Sara.
Suddenly, the light was revealed as a flourescent one, illuminating no other place than the Royal Train Depot.
"Oh, wow!" said Lauren, "I never knew that we had such a beautiful place in this Palace!"
They all stared at the many trains that were within, but one person, foolishly, had gone too far...
"Brian, get off of that train!"
The other members all ran towards Brian, but the train let out a shrill whistle and slowly started to amble down the tracks.
"I've found something!" said Brian. "It's...it's...a...hinge!"
All of the members had by now boarded the caboose of the train to remove Brian, but by now, moving off of the train was impossible due to its high speed.
"Wait a minute..." said Dr. Kristine, "This must be one of the pieces to the Bathroom Door!"
And so they all gave Brian pats on the back, that is, until...
"Say, where does this train go, anyway?"
Quiz figured out the answer and gave a gasp...
"This...this is the Phantom Train. It takes the departed to...the other side..."
"WHAT?!! But I don't wan't to go THERE!!"
"We've all got to go sometime..." said Lauren
"Oh, thanks a lot..." said Quiz, running back and forth on the platform.
"Only one thing to do," he continued, "We've got to stop the train!"
(by T.C. Chavez, Quizmaster 4.0)
Keolah groans in frustration. "Where’s the emergency brake when you need it?" Suddenly she remembered her power of Seeking. She uses her magic to discern that she really ought to teleport out, because there is no way to stop the train. But her heroic commitment to her friends denies her the luxury of retreat, and the stolidly remains on the train. Using her magic, she puts a protective field around the party, which will hopefully prevent anything bad from happening. It is a draining experience, and she collapses in a daze from exhaustion as they reach...
THE OTHER SIDE...
(by Keolah)
"Uh, didn't we defeat Mount Olympus?" Gally asks perplexed, unsure of the answer. The details of the Interdimensional War remains a blur in her mind, because she never really involved herself in it. "So who took over Hades?"
Suspenseful music fills the air and a mist fills the train compartments. Outside, a red glow could be seen, and a low rumble deafens their ears...
(by Gally)
And then a guy with a trumpet stepped on board the train.. "May I present, the Archenemy, the Prince of Darkness, Lord of the Underworld, His Darkness Lucifer De Ville!"
There was a cloud of smoke, and a dark figure approached the group.
"What are living people doing in my domain?"
(by Keolah)
The shadow of the figure eclipsed all but--well, the darkness...
He demanded again "Fe fi fo fum I smell the blood of a writer's forum... (emphasis on the "rum")"
"Forum? Ummmm...." shaked Keolah. "Argh." said Quiz.
"Uhhhhhhhhh... Eep?" asked Brian.
"Ohhhhhhhhh noooooooooooooooo..." Sara groaned.
"OHHHHHHH YES," the shadow rumbled back.
"Arf?" asked Kale.
"Enough of this!" the figure demanded. His long, lacy, black twig-like fingers reached out towards them, and from behind Quiz's ear he plucked... not a quarter, but a mushroom...
And began to munch thoughtfully on the disgusting black fungus.
"Why would you eat a mushroom?" demanded Kale. "Those are gross. I wouldn't eat anything that grew in the dark!"
"You grew in the dark for nine months, you little piece of lettuce!"
"Yeah," said Brian. "but we don't, um, eat humans."
"Ah there, my little pincoushins," the dark villian laughed. "That is where you are wrong...."
(by Kale)
As everyone else shakes in terror at the thought of being eaten (Ew! Gross! :), Dr. Kristine uses her psychotic powers to read the figure's mind. "Not fire... that gives him power. Not water... that makes his hair stand on end. Not salt... that gives him hiccups. He's got to have a weakness somewhere!" She searches into the deepest, darkest corners of his mind, looking for the one way to defeat him. "AHA! He's allergic to slinkeys!"
Dr. Kristine, who's motto is, "Slinkeys, never leave home without 'em!" pulled one out of her pocket. She sent a quick mental message to Kelly, hoping that it didn't go to Nicole by accident. Kelly nodded her agreement-- phew!
Dr. Kristine tossed one end of the slinkey to Kelly (behind the figure's back), and held tight to the other end. Before he knew what hit him, the figure was standing there tied up in a slinkey!
"No! No! Slinkeys can't hurt me! Nothing can! I'M THE ALL POWERFUL!!!" But even as he said it, he began to shrink. Then turn blue! Everyone gasped, for slinkeys gave him ohnowhatdoidosmurf-itis! Soon, where the great figure had been, was now just a little smurf!
"Ah.... he's so cute!" Sara cooed.
"So, how do we get out of here?" asked Gally.
(by Kristine)
Just then, Kate arrived on the scene, wondering briefly how this story got so far without her, but then attributing it to the fact that she had been out sailing all morning. See that's actually how she got the The Other Side...she took a wrong turn while sailing in the Back Bay and went through a cave of some sort and ended up here. (And now she hopes that she'll be forgiven for rambling so much.)
"Guys! Hop on!" Kate gestures to the sailboat. "I know it's just a little sunfish, it's really only for two people, but if we all squish down, maybe we can all fit." So Keolah , still in her cat like form hops on to the boat. Sara and Dr Kristine cling to the bow for dear life and Brian climbs up the mast. Everyone else manages to squeeze into the small cabin. "Okay, now just let me turn around..." Brian screams as the boat jibes.
"Ahhhh! Don't do that!"
"Sorry Brian. I'm still learning!" Finally Kate manages to sail everyone to the mouth of the cave that leads to The Other Side without killing anyone and nearly everyone breathes a sigh of relief. Just then, they hear rushing water and Brian realizes that the boat was heading straight for a ...
(by Kelly)
Keolah returns to consciousness and groans in frustration. "How did we get ourselves into this mess, anyway?"
Since cats don’t like water, Keolah was immediately turned off by the idea of drowning, but had been so magically drained protecting her friends from Heck that she was unable to teleport to safety.
The forum members screamed in panic as the boat rushed toward the waterfall.
Keolah manages to pull some mana from the recesses of her feline body and casts a forcefield around the little boat just as it plummeted over the falls. Thus magically protected, the boat survives the experience, as does everyone within (or hanging on). Keolah, however, is practically killed by the effort, and she falls limp, the forcefield dissipating.
(by Keolah)
Luckily for the members of the fast decending sunfish, Quiz was mercilessly left behind on the mainland.
"Rotten blasted..." he mumbled, walking down the length of the river that, curiously enough, went through the Other Side...
He stopped short when he saw the river come to a sudden abrupt end, via waterfall...
However then he heard the screams of his friends about to go over the falls...and then, a sudden desprate idea came over him.
Quickly, he yelled, "Here! Grab this!" as he began to whirl his head around and around, the slinky protruding from the top a blur of silver. Then, with a final hammer-throw-like thrust, he swung it across the river, where it was grasped by Gally.
Everyone then grabbed ahold of Gally as Quiz lunged for a solid tree, using all of his strength. Something had to give in the next ten seconds, and something did.
Luckily, it was that all of the occupants of the sunfish flew out of the falling ship and crashed in a heap onto the surrounding land. The now empty sunfish ran aground in the rocks near the falls, cracking in half, both pieces beginning a long slow plummet down to the valley below.
"My hero..." said Gally, embacing him, "Thank you for saving us. You may be a clumsy, absentminded landlord, but you still come in handy every now and then."
"Gee...I...don't know what to say," Quiz replied.
"Oh no!" Kate screamed, "I forgot to send in the insurance money last month for my boat!" She then started sobbing quietly as the other members of the new-found Fellowship of the Bathroom Door headed for the way back to the First Side...
(by T.C. Chavez, Quizmaster 4.0)
Sarah Kathryn then stepped out from behind a rock, dragging Cat with her, and comforted Kate. "Don't worry, we have many more boats back at the castle. Really."
Kate wiped her eyes. "Thanks. When did you get here? I thought we left you behind when we went on our quest."
"You did, but I'm back now. I live in random shadows, remember? And look who I just bumped into on my way over here!"
"Hey...wait a minute!" An idea dawned on Kate. "If you can travel through shadows, and you can pull people through them, maybe we can all get home that way!"
Sarah Kathryn sadly shook her head. "Getting here was hard. Getting back that way will be downright impossible. I've caught up with you guys, but that's really just the best I can do. Guess we'll just have to stick with you until you get back to the castle."
Cat, who'd been running back and forth in front of the rocky part of the stream to try to catch the spray that came up, because it was a pretty hot day, suddenly spoke. "Guys, your reunion is very touching and all, but we should catch up with the rest of the group now."
Sarah Kathryn and Kate turned to see that everyone else was almost out of sight. "Okay, let's not let them get much farther without us," Sarah Kathryn said. And the three of them began running toward everyone else...
(by Sarah Kathryn)
Sara finally makes it to the surface of the river. She takes a huge gulp of pure, fresh air as she emerges, then catches some convienient rocks and drags herself onto the bank.
"Sheesh," she says. "I go on one family outing, and I wind up drowning..." She looks down at the river she has just escaped from. It is made up not of water but of words--the words of the ongoing story of the Quest, so kindly narrated by Paul. Or whatever his name was.
She turns her gaze to the disappearing company of adventurers. "Wait up!" she yells hoarsly, but no one hears her. "All right," she mutters to herself, "I'll just have to catch up--my way." With that, she gathers up her psychic energies and pulls... And finds herself back with the group.
Sarah Kathryn sees her. "Sara, what happened? You're covered in words!"
"I know," Sara sighs. "Never mind. Let's just get on with this." As she follows the group, she wonders why she's been so waspish lately...
(by Sara F)
Keolah, dejected and mildly irritated, locates a shady nook to rest for a while... Unbeknownst to the rest of the Fellowship, she is sleeping on a Hinge... as they forget all about her and wander off, Keolah wakes and discovers the hidden treasure that her friends had forgotten. However, still being feline and unable to pick up anything at the moment, she cannot take the Hinge with her. And she dare not run after the others for fear of losing the Hinge. Therefore Keolah stays to guard the treasure until someone comes back to look for her, or at least until she has enough strength back to change into something with hands.
(by Keolah)
Meanwhile, the party continues on, really sick of this entire quest thing and unable to understand why getting into the bathroom should be such an ordeal.
They walk in silence, exhausted and not exactly sure where they are going. Then, suddenly, Quiz bellows into the afternoon sky, "WHERE'S THE BLEEPING HINGE?"
"Wha_?" says Sarah Kathryn, who stands closest to the raging inferno that Quiz has become. "What are you bellowing about?"
"The hinge, dammit, the hinge? Remember the hinge? The Quest? The whole shabang, remember that?"
"Brian, where's the hinge?" asks Sara.
Brian is still counting his fingers and toes. As everyone wonders for the seventieth time what the hell is the matter with Brian, a car backfires, startling everyone.
The party swivels around, momentarily leaving Brian to his counting.
A lime green camero emerges from a cloud of deep green smoke, followed by a short female form furiously kicking the back wheel.
"Who the heck is that?" asks Gally.
"I have a strange feeling," says the seething Quiz, "that I have run into this female before. I believe she is the...."
Just then, the green camero woman looks up and waves happily. "Hiya guys! I'm Kyla. Remember me? The Gatekeeper of the Lavatory of Evermore Palace?"
"I KNEW it, I KNEW it! She just HAD to show up now, didn't she?" Quiz starts stomping like Rumplestiltskin, partly from anger and partly from his previously neglected, urgent need.
"Yo, green woman!" yells Lauren, walking swiftly towards her. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"I got fired."
"Excuse me?"
"I said I got fired from my job as Gatekeeper."
"How can you get fired?" asks Sarah Kathryn as she walks up to the car with the rest of the group.
"It's a long story. Oh, by the way, how's your friend?"
"What friend?"asks Quiz, trying to conceal his homicidal thoughts.
"The counting guy. Did the spell ever wear off?"
They all look at each other and then slowly turn to look at poor bewitched Brian, who is now trying to count the goosebumps on his forearms.
(by Kyla)
"102, 103, 104..."
Kelly looks at the Gatekeeper. "No, I would have to say that Brian is still under the spell. What, exactly, is wrong with him?"
(by Kelly)
Meanwhile, back at the river, Keolah gets sick of waiting for someone to come get her. She sighs, picks up the hinge in her feline mouth, and bounds off after the others, at least in the general direction she thought they went off in. Unfortunately, she soon gets hopelessly lost. Coming to a road, she locates a car that is having engine problems. Jumping into the back seat, she gets a ride to the nearest town as soon as the car gets moving again. Hopelessly lost at this point, Keolah, still in feline form, still carrying around the lost Hinge, tries to hook up with her friends again....
She locates a phone booth, drops the Hinge on the floor, and picks up a quarter off the ground. Keolah somehow jumps up to the phone, slips the coin into the slot, and manages to transform herself enough so that she can actually hold the phone to her feline ear. She calls Dr. Kristine’s slinky number. Miraculously, she connects!
"Khrishteen?" Keolah purrs. "I’m in this town somewhere. I’ve got the Hinge. I don’t suppose you guys could come get me..."
(by Keolah)
Dr. Kristine, thankful that her slinkey hadn't come loose or gotten tangled on this expedition, passes the message on to the group.
"The Hinge! She's got The Hinge!" shouts Quiz. "We're saved!"
"Sorry to break it to ya," Sara says gently, "but we've got to save her first."
"...100,001, 100,002, 100,003..." continues Brian, annoyed at all the noise disturbing his concentration.
Dr. Kristine sends a message out over her Slinky Tracking System, trying to locate Keolah. "Found her! This shouldn't be a problem.... we just have to cross that canyon over there, then go straight north, til we reach the phone booth she's in!"
"Crossing a canyon... piece of cake," Kelly mutters, sarcastically.
(by Kristine)
As the forumers stand at the edge of the canyon, they are silenced by the vast amount of space between them and the other side.
"100,056...."
Okay, so not everyone was silenced.
Anyway, soon talk resumes among the other forumers, which is no surprise, because it is a well-known fact that very few of them can keep quiet for very long.
"Hey, guys," Kelly says, still not exactly optimistic about the possibility of crossing the canyon, "why don't we just go around it?"
"No, that will take too long," Gally says positively.
"And I really have to go!" Quiz yells.
"Oh," Kelly says, taking this into account. "Well, then, I say we fly across."
The others just stare at her.
"What?" she asks defensively. "It just so happens that I have a vial of flying elixir in my pocket! I always carry it around in case of emergencies."
While everyone proceeds to absorb this new development, Brian looks up from his counting. "Did you say flying elixir?" he asks, sounding normal for the first time in quite a while.
"Yes," Kelly replies quickly, hoping that he has come out of his spell and knows how to use flying elixir. Because, although she has failed to mention it to the group, she does not.
"Oh," he says, and turns back to his arm. After staring at it for a minute, he looks back at Kelly. "You made me lose my place!" he accuses.
"Sorry," she apologizes, sighing.
"That's okay. I'll just start over. 1, 2, 3, 4...."
"So?" Cat interrupts, tapping Kelly on the shoulder. "What are we waiting for? Let's fly!"
"Oh. Well, you see, we have a small problem," Kelly admits.
Sarah Kathryn looks at her suspiciously. "What?"
"She doesn't know how to use it," Dr. Kristine says matter-of-factly.
"How do you know?" the Gatekeeper asks, shooing a fly away from her face. "Ugh. I think bugs are attracted to my greenish hue."
Dr. Kristine taps her head. "Psychic," she says simply.
(by Kelly)
Quiz finally grasped the meaning of Kelly's elixir, and quickly pointed it out.
"Wait a minute..." he said. "This is a bottle of Flying elixir, right?"
"Err...Yeah," Kelly responded.
"So, all we have to do is just open the bottle and let it go!"
Kelly gave a nod, and opened the bottle, letting all of its contents fall onto the valley below the cliff. At first, the elixir was in no hurry to fly, but as it fell farther, it became increasingly obivious that it continued to have no hurry.
Finally, as it hit the dusty plain, it was pretty much well taken that it didn't want to fly very much.
Everyone's mouth was in mid-syllable of starting to chide Quiz when a low rumble came from below.
Everyone stared as the elixir had resolved itself into a helicopter and started hovering towards them. All of them then quickly chaned the next syllables out of their mouths as they boarded the helicopter.
The reached to other side and made their way to the Royal Texaco station where Keolah was...
(by T.C. Chavez, Quizmaster 4.0)
Keolah took a brief catnap in the phone booth, still stubbornly guarding the Hinge. Later, she was awakened by a mild-mannered man wearing spectacles stepping into the phone booth. Completely oblivious to her sleepy feline presence, the man starts changing.
Mildly annoyed, Keolah curls up and falls asleep again.
Finishing his dressing, Superman exits the phone booth and flies off into the wild blue yonder.
"Darn, maybe I should have asked him to go get my friends," Keolah purrs.
(by Keolah)
Finally, after about 16 shakespeare soliloquoys, two threads of story, and one admiral's daughter... Keolah's nap is awakened by a stampede of forumers into the tiny phone booth.
"The Hinge!" Quiz exclaims and snatches it quite rudely from the feline underbelly who hisses and puffs up.
"How many more pieces of the door are left?"
"One," says Brian "two, three four..."
The others sigh hopelessly. Groaning, Kelly asks "So before any of us can take another leak we have to find more of the door... more door, door more more OF the door..."
Brian discovers a nice suit left behind by the telephone's previous occupant and begins counting the number of stitches. After thorough inspection of the waistline, he puts on the mans clothes. While buttoning the blue collared shirt, he finds...
"Um, what's this?" he asks, holding up a piece of a door.
"I dunno," Dr. K shrugs. "Probably leftover damage from a tornado or something."
"okay guys," sighs sara, "let's blow this popsicle stand.."
The gang heads out for what will most likely be another adventure. Kale whips out her shades, wishing she could be at the beach. "We could hit the beach," says Kristine, picking up her thoughts off of the slinkies implanted in their brains.
That reminds me, thinks Kale... "Hey, Brian. It's Tuesday. We either go to this beach in Iowa you claim to have or SHOW ME THE MONEY...."
(by Kale)
Sara smiles. "The beach, I say." Not knowing why, she picks up the piece of door and stows it in her ever-present denim backpack, right next to the umbrella, the notebooks, the Comp text, and the copy of Parapsychology: the Controversial Science that she checked out from the library. It fits right in; the backpack is really a portable rip in the fabric of our dimension, allowing Sara to access her own little pocket dimension in which to store all of life's necessities... And the occasional piece of door, no matter how large it is.
As the group nears the beach, Brian's goosebumps go away. "No!" he screams. What will I count now???"
"How about grains of sand?" Sara suggests.
"Oh, yeah! One... Two... Gosh, these things are small... Three... Four..."
(by Sara F)
Sarah Kathryn randomly remarks to Kale and Brian, "Wow! A beach! In Iowa! I guess the legends were true..."
Quiz speaks up. "Hey, Kyla, since you used to be the Gatekeeper, don't you know where the door pieces are?"
Kyla shakes her head. "No, I only know the vague hints from my training manual. No one's ever found the whole door."
Lauren's jaw drops. "No one's ever used that bathroom?"
"Not while I was Gatekeeper."
"Sounds like you did a good job," Gally remarks.
A lightbulb goes on over Sara F's head. Which doesn't really do much, because it's already bright daylight, so she reaches up and shuts it off, then says, "So, Kyla, how do we get to the second piece of the door?"
Kyla reinstates the echo in her voice and says, "The answer, my friends, is blowing in the wind."
Brian looks up. "I thought the answer was 42?"
Just then, the wind begins to blow...
(by Sarh Kathryn)
...and a piece of time-worn paper hits Sara in the face.
"Mmmf mmff mm mm mmff," Sara says, her voice inaudible.
"What!?" Keolah asks.
"20, 21, 22..."
"I said," Sara says as she pulls the paper from her face, "I think this is a MAP!"
"Oh," the group nods and says in sync (except for Brian who is still counting the grains of sand).
"...34, 35, 36..."
"Wait," Kristine says, snatching the map from Sara. "This is a map of the castle! But...what are all these X's and O's?"
(by Gally)
Sara looked at the map, puzzled. "I don't know. But we'll find out, I guess..." They then went on.
They went walking away from the beach, and came to a big canyon.
Dr. Kristine asked, "Should we use the elixir again?"
Sarah reminded the sometimes absent-minded doctor, "No, remember how that turned out last time?"
"Yeah, you're right," Kristine muttered.
Roan awoke to find himself next to this strange man dressed all in grey Robes. In the background Jim was singing "Break on Thru (To the Other Side)". THe man in grey smiled at him. Roan looked about him. A lot of old hippies were about jamming to the song.
"Can't you play another song, man?"
The man in Grey nodded. "No, it is the theme song of this place. My friends have left me. They never saw me, for I was invisible. I want you to help them. Comeon ... we gotta go."
zap
Purple holes are so handy!
Then Grey Robes and Roan appeared into the piece.
Sarah looked at the man in grey.
"Don't I know you?" she asked.
"Yes Sarah, you do. But don't worry about that. I came to help you across the moat."
"Canyon," Sara corrected him. "Whatever!" Then the man in grey threw forth winds from his mouth, and blew down a tree ... a bridge to get to the Other Side.
Kristine muttered, "Now why wasn't he around that first time? I see how he is ...."
Then Grey Robes went walking down into the canyon. (He had so many robes on he jumped and just floated down.) They went across. Once they got to the Other Side, they tried to remember why they wanted over there in the first place.
"Oh yeah!" Sara exclaimed. "To go treasure hunting!"
They went rushing ahead ... and Sarah and Sara fell behind, talking.
"Who was that guy?" Sara asked.
"I don't know ... I know I know him, though! Drat!"
They pondered on this awhile ...then it struck them at the same time.
"MAC!"
"I always knew he was full of hot air ...."
Then a look of horror passed over Sarah's face. "There's alliagators down there! Come on, we'de better go down a check on him ... so he won't get eaten!" They called Brian over from the rest, and went back to try to save the Grey Robed Man's life ....
They then climbed down into the canyon and found Grey Robes walking about.
"Why are you down here MA ... Grey Robes?"
"Why to get the Shrine of Fuzzy Green Aluminum Siding, sillies! You'll need that in your quest!" Then he handed the Shrine to Sara.
"You know, I like this version of the shrine much better. Those handheld deals are really handy! The big one is stuck down here. Come on, we'd better try to get back up this canyon and go with the others," said Grey Robes.
They then started their ascent up the cliff wall when suddenly Sara F screamed out in terror ....
(by MAC)
"It's a snake! Ewww, get it away before it bites me!" Sara screams.
Sarah gives her a Look and knocks the snake off of the rock.
Sara sighs in relief. "Thanks, Sarah," she says. Sorry. I don't know what got into me..."
And they continue up to meet the rest of the party...
(by Sara F)
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